I've been doing some deep thinking about the direction of my business and my life these last few months. I've been trying to create programs, workshops and guided meditations and honestly, it has been a bit of a struggle. I love doing these things, so I have been wondering where my resistance is coming from.
This week I'm revisiting the book, Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (thanks to my friend, Leah) and it's got me thinking. I was having a moment the other day, worrying about this or that. Trying to figure things out with my business. Planning, scheming, making lists and beginning to feel overwhelmed.
Then suddenly I had a thought:
What if everything is already OK? What if I am exactly where I am supposed to be? What if my business is good enough for now? What if I don't have to "figure out my life" or recreate the wheel with my business?
I noticed that I have been resisting a lot. I resist going to my office to work. I resist looking at my bank account. I resist resting because I should cross something off my list. I resist my own body, sometimes not listening to what it needs. What comes up is anxiety, overwhelm and fear.
This thought was kind of a revelation. Just thinking it helped me relax. I realized that I am the one putting all the pressure on. And it doesn't have to be this hard. I looked up the opposite of resistance and lo and behold, there it was: ACCEPTANCE. Of course. (These books always pop back into my life when I need them!)
I think the first step to acceptance is practicing awareness. And non-judgement, it's not good or bad. It's being mindful of the present moment, noticing how I'm feeling and l leaning into it with compassion and curiousity.
Moving forward with this new awareness, when I feel myself “pushing against” I will pause, and notice what emotion I’m feeling. I will just be in it. Then I will ask this emotion why it’s there and what it needs.
If you also feel this, you might consider this practice too. And for sure check out the Radical Acceptance book!
