I am having one of those days. One where nothing seems to be working out. I can’t wait to go back to bed and wake up to a new day. A clean slate. I’m not sure if it’s something with the alignment of the planets or phase of the moon or just a lot of little things piling up, but I have been feeling super anxious and stressed. Things that are usually easy are going all wrong. The wind is crazy and my power is out and I have no cell service. Communication has been most challenging. I was supposed to go camping. We’ve changed the plan many times. I couldn’t reach anyone and I was beginning to panic. I mean, C’MON! I have things I NEED to do and people I NEED to reach! (It’s all about me, right? GAWWWD.)
This has been my inner dialogue today and while I’m in the midst of it, I can see myself from an outside perspective and know I’m being ridiculous. I didn’t spend one moment doing the things that ground me this morning and instead have allowed myself to get sucked into a downward spiral that culminated in me throwing an actual live mini-temper tantrum in my car. Yep. That happened. I wanted to cry and scream and laugh all at once. It probably was amusing to the person in the car next to me. It was at that moment I finally just had to surrender. Right then and there I said, OK, UNIVERSE. FINE! I give up. I’m going to follow your lead because obviously you are trying to get my attention.
Then I started driving home and somehow ended up on a dead-end street. (I mean I’ve driven home thousands of times but this is how my day has been going!) So I grumbled a bit but kept going and ended up back at a friend’s house who has working internet. It was as if the U was leading me down the road with very obvious signs pointing towards doing some work. I guess I wasn’t paying close enough attention so the signs had to get bigger and bigger until I did.
I decided to share this story so that my day didn’t feel like one big grumpy mistake. Writing helps me process things and feel more grounded. It also puts things in perspective so I can see the big picture. This is just one day. It kinda sucked but in the grand scheme of things, it's no big deal. I am going to give myself some grace for acting like a 3-year-old. I intend to move forward with a new attitude. I am grateful for this day and I intend to make it count by finding the lesson here.
